oom: THE CULTIVATOR JOB

[cultivation_npc]

The door opens, and on the other side is Jin Guangyao.

He puts his finger to his lips, opens the door wide, and lets people pass into a stone-walled passageway lit by torches in sconces.

As everybody enters, he lifts a finger in warning and points to his left -- there are guards there -- then leads the way to his right, towards a large gate in the stone wall.

Comments

[lupintrois]

The only thing Lupin's ever cultivated is his reputation, but seeing him transform himself into Jin Guangyao still feels like something akin to sorcery. With the man's own consent for scans and photos (and a spare set of clothes), the job's even easier than usual, and it only took him a day or two to whip up a perfect disguise.

Lupin finishes tamping the mask into place around his neck, then turns to Zenigata and gives a formal bow. When he rises, Jin Guangyao's trademark tight, placid smile is on his face. "I'll try not to leave the Jin treasure room too bare," he says in Jin's native tongue, breaking character just long enough to give a flirty wink. "Say hi to the princess for me."

And then he's off around the corner before anyone can point out that Wen Qing isn't actually a princess. All women are princesses, to some degree.

[only tag for Zenigata here because Maru's running the show here]

[zenigatcha]

Pinkening in the cheeks, Zenigata clears his throat, keeping his voice whisper-tight, "Knight and thief ride again, yes? We'll get our girl. But leave the valuables alone, Lupin. I will search you if I have to."

Then he just heads off to help Lan Wangji and company.

[cultivation_npc]

There are torches in sconces, staircases coming down into the basement, and the sound of people talking ahead. On one of the staircases a fat cat is sitting, chewing on what appears to be half a rat.

[lupintrois]

Lupin puts that placid smile back on his place and glides up to a man who is clearly one of the guard types. Speaking quietly but firmly, he explains that a known thief has been sighted in the vicinity and that they need to urgently check upon the valuables. Based on the map the actual Jin Guangyao gave him, he also directs that guards be sent to this or that location, deliberately away from where he knows Pops and his friends will be headed.

[cultivation_npc]

The leader of the guards bows deeply to him. "If you would follow me along, Lianfang-zun?"

[lupintrois]

Lupin stays perfectly in character as they traverse the hallways, even if internally he's salivating. The kind of people who live here are the kind of people who get STUPID with their money, and those always have the loveliest toys to run off with. He tells himself that he's still got to leave them the bulk of the wealth, or Zenigata will be upset - gotta sacrifice to play the long game here - but it's soooo hard.

[cultivation_npc]

Even the guard's uniforms are splendid and valuable, embroidered with real gold.

"We should check the precious jade vaults first," one suggests, but another contradicts, "no, the rare vessels vault -- those things are priceless, not just valuable!"

[lupintrois]

"If they are such a concern, we should check them both," Lupin suggests. All the more time to waste, after all.

[cultivation_npc]

"We must check them all," the leader says, and the other man adds, "Who told you about the thief?"

[lupintrois]

"Ah. I would be careless to reveal my sources to anyone besides your master, of course." He uses the titles Jin Guangyao gave him as answer to 'who's the head honcho that everyone's scared of around here?'. There's one in every nest of fiends.

[cultivation_npc]

They nod, and hurry on. "Here's the treasure vault," one says, producing a key. The leader produces another key, and together, they open the vault.

[lupintrois]

It's hard not to rub his hands together inside his sleeves as he enters, casting his gaze upon the treasures of the Jin clan. Instead, he acts thoughtful as he moves from one to another, inspecting them, occasionally pestering the guards with questions about how many of a specific item are here and how many of them were here before yesterday, and who else has been in here. All them are calm and polite, but with a note of ice behind them.

And every so often, when they aren't looking, he palms one or two little trinkets. Just for fun.

[cultivation_npc]

"But this set," one of the Jin guards says, hurriedly, "has one cup to few because the Sandu Shenshou crushed it at the Floral Banquet when the Yiling Patriarch caused all that trouble."

"He knows that," the leader snaps.

It's a box stacked full with many tiny cups for drinking liquor from, made of pure gold. Like everything else, they are a bit too ornate and don't actually look all that nice.

[lupintrois]

Lupin makes a noncommittal noise. The next time he passes by, one of the cups vanishes. Man, with such huge sleeves, it's a thief's paradise in here.

"All right, we've inventoried the trivial items," he says, a bit haughty. "Now we must check on the most precious items. The thief likely won't find them unless he has highly confidential information, but he may have an ally on the inside."

[cultivation_npc]

Good thing he doesn't have qiankun sleeves, or he might be tempted by the foot-high (or so) pure gold statue of some Jin ancestor that the vault (where they go next) of priceless 'art' leads with.

It is very ugly, but the lead guard appears very proud it's still there.

[lupintrois]

Oh, he could totally fit that thing down his pants and still be able to mince about afterwards, but he's saving it for something fancier. "Not this cheap nonsense!" he snaps, somehow managing serene calmness and Karen-esque irritation at the same time. "An expert thief would not waste his time just on gold-leafed trinkets. Think! What is something a thief with endless ambitions would take, something that cannot be found or made anywhere else?"

He asks as if it's a rhetorical question to test the guard's intelligence.

[cultivation_npc]

"The zodiac cups that Sect Leader Chang gave to Sect Leader Jin before the war are still here as well," the guard says.

He holds out a wooden case and opens it; inside are twelve porcelain baijiu cups, each painted with a pornographic interpretation of one of the twelve creatures of the zodiac on the inside bottom, and a SFW version on the outside, in great miniature detail.

[lupintrois]

Oh, come to A-die," Lupin thinks as he surveys the item. He gives a firm nod and then whirls, pointing at the door. "Come! We must inspect the perimeter! Move!"

Once they're all turned away the cups also vanish into the various compartments and hidden pockets that Lupin's worked into the robe, with the monkey one fitting nicely under his hat.

[cultivation_npc]

The guards starts quick-marching around the dungeon, racing up towards the various staircases to the perimeter of Jinlintai.

The place is huge, but the guards know to display much outward eagerness and a speedy delivery of security theatre.

[lupintrois]

It's a calculated move - the guards are searching frantically for something they won't find, diverted from the specific place he knows Zenigata will be. It's so fun, ruffling their feathers, moving among them like a shark through fish and watching them scatter. Adorable, really.

By the time he's through putting them through their paces, his robe will be so full of contraband that he'll almost clank when he walks.

"You've done well. All seems to be in order. I will be reporting your hard work to our master when I return." He gives one final, enigmatic smile, and then turns to walk out the gates.